I have been lying on the beach thinking about the lovely
girlfriends I have called Emma. They
are, it has to be said, thoroughly good eggs - exceptional lasses in countless
ways who I’m lucky to have in my life.
I can say the same about fabulous women with many names...
but after noticing this comparison I realised I also feel quite a deal of
affection for literary heroines and actresses called Emma. So, writer that I am, I got to thinking about
whether a name might inspire a person to be a certain way?
A name certainly affects, I think, the way an author
feels about her character... or how could Jane Austen have crafted such a
perfect curve of personality and plot development for her Emma? And similarly couldn’t parents and teachers respond
to children differently depending upon their fondness for a name?
So perhaps you’ll allow me to disagree with Shakespeare’s
Juliet who famously said:
What's in a name? That which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet.
She was, after all,
hopelessly in love with a stupidly cute Latin boy. And I rather fancy the idea that if you are
called Emma you are more likely to be intelligent, generous, interested,
loving, open, kind, motivated, practical and... special.
It may be a generational
thing, perhaps Elizabeth or Mary were the fabulous girls half a century
ago? Or maybe I’m simply too inclined to
make connections between odd and disparate things? It has been said. But to that I reply: isn’t that how one
weaves a story? And isn’t that, in fact,
how we live and view our lives? Read my
blogs if you don’t believe me... or my soon to be published book (watch this
space).
However, before I go on
with this theme, I must give immediate credit to Samantha Ellis for her book How To Be A Heroine. In this book Samantha goes back over her
reading life to draw all sorts of comparisons between her literary heroines,
highlighting how they have impacted on her life, and that’s what inspired me to
think about my Emma friends. Anyone with
any serious interest in English Literature, storytelling, the development of
characters, narrative and feminism should read Samantha’s charming work. Its premise is hugely imaginative and its
research far reaching. The author does
not waste a single word or illusion, and there are so many familiar connections
and satisfying new allusions that I found it thoroughly entertaining and
stimulating. I even read in this exploratory
work a reference to a man I have kissed (passionately) and a place in Tuscany I
had a particular romance. Who would have
thought? Yet even without these personal
parallels, I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone interested in
female characters and the building of meaningful literary and dramatic themes. Thank you Samantha! Maybe you’re leading a trend for Samantha to
be the next ‘special name’.
Anyway, with that as
background, I’ll flatter Samantha further by imitating her fascination with a
fiction-life crossover... and allow Jane Austen’s Emma to supply my benchmark. I always do write arts-life crossover stories
in this blog (as opposed to reviews) so I hope Samantha won’t mind.
Austen’s Emma is described
as having a bright and happy disposition.
That is just as I’d describe the Emmas in my life. Emma Woodhouse is known for being
exceptionally pretty; as are my friends Emma G, Emma H and Emma W. Austen’s Emma takes special care of her
friends and family, going out of her way to make herself available to them, and
in this my friends definitely resemble her.
The comparison remains true in so far as my girlfriends and our literary
heroine take active steps to help the people they love achieve their ambitions,
and empathise sincerely when plans or aspirations do not blossom as hoped.
My general sense is that an
Emma is a no-nonsense type of girl, who is always there for you, gets a job
done, and is down-to-earth and classy at the same time. Emma laughs and loves, thinks and reflects,
without being fussy or heavy. She has brains
and practicality, is a sensible, gentle and caring person without being
overly-sentimental. In particular, the light and warmth which infuses Emma’s
courage and humanity is no less sure for being under-the-radar.
Even my muse for this
story, Samantha Ellis, has a best friend called Emma who sounds like my clever girlfriends. And you can’t ignore the fabulous Emma
Thompson for a role model can you? I saw
her in Sweeney Todd recently at the ENO singing and commanding the stage with
Bryn Terfel as if she was born to play Mrs Lovett (yes, of course I was jealous). When I played Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing some years ago, I
couldn’t watch her tremendous film with Kenneth Branagh again until the season
was over, because I knew damn well I didn’t have a hope in hell of playing it
any better (hey, I’d have settled for half so well, and I’m usually ambitious with
standards).
Back to Jane Austen: Do my
Emmas live on an enormous country estate?
Do they set me up with the wrong man and then realise they have to
apologise? Do they mock the maiden aunt
for talking too much, or marry their next-door neighbour after years of not
noticing they were in love? No; not so
far. So I won’t draw the comparison
literally. Yet the qualities established
above serve sufficiently well to highlight that the name and character of Emma appear
to come with many delightful attributes.
Let me show you.
Emma G is a remarkably
centred, informed twenty-something who is lots of fun and wonderful company at
a dinner party or on a holiday. We
worked together on the Olympics and have grown increasingly close ever
since. She is as happy debating the
politics of the day as she is sitting in a wine bar chatting with unexpected
eccentric characters, cooking a cheesecake, navigating her Boris bike across
London (I find this very impressive), absorbing the architectural feats of La Sacrada Familia, or unpacking the mysteries of a play or contentious media
article. Smart, that’s what she is, and
exquisitely modern – neither of which take away from her sincere social values
or physical beauty. I love that with Emma
G we can switch from laughter and flippancy to serious feminist dialogue
without missing a beat. She can also
remind me, when I need to hear it, that true feminism is not just about being
strong or brave or fighting hard to resist paternalistic limitations, it’s
about not letting men shape the argument or dilute our ability to view our life
(our choices and feelings) in a way which is uniquely feminine or, more
importantly, true to ourselves. (That’s
what Samantha Ellis refers to, cleverly, as ‘defining yourself’ rather than
allowing anyone else to do it for you.)
Recently I was telling
Emma G about a niggling sensation I had over an encounter with a certain man, a
negative feeling, and she pulled me up short because my story had started with
a positive perspective: “hey, don’t let his reaction shape the way you view
what happened... who cares what he thinks... you work out what you think and
stick with that”. How could you not love
her?! Equally, Emma sometimes tells me
I’m brave and adventurous and that when she’s older she wants to be like me...
and though I’m sure she’ll be far more accomplished and amazing in her own way
by then (she already is) her validation never fails to hearten me. Female friendship and respect is so precious.
Emma H is also smart and wise. She can google, gather and forward relevant
information faster than anyone I know and I only wish I was currently running a
company so I could employ her. She seems
to have a ‘bullshit detector’ which allows her to navigate around rubbish and
stay focused on the important things, and in this she is immeasurably practical
and positive. She is non-judgemental and
gentle too, her strength quiet and unassuming.
We met on a yacht in Greece when unexpectedly forced to share a bed...
and it could have gone so horribly wrong if she’d been a snorer or a
wriggler... I confess I wriggle after a few wines... but she stayed on her side
of the small, odd-shaped bunk without a moment’s discomfort or
inconvenience. Seriously, how can any
stranger be that easy to get on with in such intimate circumstances? But that’s Emma H - she’s a no fuss girl,
while still being hugely sensitive and mature (again beyond her years).
I was in a funk not long
ago after a particularly lovely man caused me a considerable amount of pain
(not because he’s not a nice guy, but because sometimes people’s needs
just don’t align), and I was desperate to jump on a plane and get the hell out
of London. However it was school
holidays and flights were exorbitant.
What did Emma H do, she simply offered me her (and her partner’s) car to
go exploring in the UK instead. She
knows me, she knew I needed movement to begin the ‘letting go’ and refocusing
process, and she offered as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I feel compelled to make an Emma Thompson
comparison here – in her role as Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility - for Emma H is just like that much-loved character
as portrayed by Emma T: loyal, sensible, sensitive, aware and ready to put
others before herself. Again, how could
you not love her?!
And that brings me to the effortlessly
appealing Emma W: we did our Masters of Commerce together in Australia and
became friends quickly. Emma W can talk
clothes, handbags, shoes and girly magazines (she’s often catches me up on media
gossip, especially about Liam Neeson of whom I’m stupidly fond), but that light-hearted
side belies her keen intelligence and capacity for engagement in many a diverse
analytical topic. It also doesn’t tell
you how flexible or resourceful Emma W can be.
For example, I never fail to smile when I remember Emma’s response when
I invited (probably cajoled) her to be on a group project with me worth thirty
percent of a subject’s final grades: “oh but Julie, you are an A student and
you’ll expect to get an A on this assignment, and if I don’t do the work you
expect you’ll get tense and I don’t think either of us needs that”. (I would highlight Emma was running a
household and caring for children as well as studying so her need to be
practical and set realistic boundaries was sensible and important.) I was a bit shocked at first, disappointed, thinking
she’d want to study with her friend, but when she said “isn’t our friendship
more important?” I couldn’t argue. And
actually the group I did ultimately work with did piss me off and, as I saw it,
drag me down, so Emma’s decision was not only honest and wise but
prophetic. When I haven’t set clear
enough boundaries in my life – yep, that’s happened a few times – I remember
this experience and sincerely wish I had Emma W’s objective assessment skills.
Some years later, this university
friend (and her husband) were so incredibly understanding and supportive of me
in the midst of a major personal crisis – generous beyond description – that I
still cannot think of their kindness without a tear in my eye. I won’t bore you with the details, but in
this case Emma’s giving was utterly without boundaries or rationality, and it
showed to me a capacity for love and care which is not only remarkable but
typical of this warm-hearted and special woman.
You might hear that the attributes of tall leggy blondes or beach-babes
are all on the surface, but I tell you this Emma has it all going for her - on
the outside and the inside – and again so much of what she does and who she
helps is low key and pragmatic.
All in all, it’s no wonder
I have a terrific impression of the name Emma – these women are rich in so many
qualities, not to mention brilliant company!
And they just happen to share a name with one of my favourite literary
characters. So thank you Samantha Ellis for
inspiring me to reacquaint and reappraise the heroines in my life – in my ‘real
life’, in books, plays, television and movies - as the gift that these women
are... the many women I value... is a gift which just keeps on giving.
Highly recommended:
